Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Madonna Drink

I've noticed a new character trait. It's mainly induced by alcohol to be fair, but it's there nonetheless. Thinking about it, it's not alcohol in general. It's "that drink", the one which takes me from being "a bit tipsy" to "a little drunk". In short, it's the drink that makes me believe I can dance like Madonna.

It's a little embarrassing really.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Code Red - Do Not Approach

Following last night's gleeful post about being warm at last in my bedroom I would like to report a lack of water, of any temperature, from the hot taps this morning. "Pissed off" doesn't come close to covering it. I seems that I am not allowed all my comforts at once. And if you think I'm having a cold shower in this weather, not fucking likely!!!

*insert tirade of swear words here*

Sweet dreams!

Can you "launch" a radiator? What I mean is, can you break a bottle of Champagne over a newly installed radiator and christen it? If so, I'll christen mine Red Hot Radiator and I'll drink Champagne to celebrate her arrival in my bedroom. If I could afford Champagne. Which I can't. Would lager work instead?

I'm in a state of heightened excitement; perhaps you can tell. John the Builder has just left leaving in his wake a warm bedroom. Yes, you heard correctly!!! When I go to bed tonight I won't have a cold nose, I won't have nipples that can be seen from Mars and when I wake up tomorrow morning I won't see my breath as a plume of vapour above my bed.

Good night. I'm off to the Land of Nod... without my fleece!