Sunday, October 30, 2005

ADS: Attention Deflection Syndrome

Today I was supposed to read five, yes FIVE, papers for tomorrow's day at college. The word "supposed" is key to that statement. Instead, I suffered from Attention Deflection Syndrome, that well-known ailment many students mysteriously suffer from when faced with any kind of course work.

I woke up at 9.30 feeling very well rested and made a lovely breakfast of toast and marmite accompanied by a bolstering cup of tea. I pulled on some comfy slob-out clothes, put some Chopin on the stereo and lay down on the sofa to read "The Counsellor and the GP, the Gulf and the Isthmus". (What's an Isthmus?)

Well actually, that's a lie. I did all of the above apart from the reading bit and watched all of Sunday AM (my eyes bled a little when The Proclaimers did a live bit. Should've gone to specsavers), quite a bit of the Heaven and Earth Show, a little Futurama and, to my psychological detriment, rather more of Hollyoaks than is strictly good for me, i.e. one nano-second. (I was heartened to see that they were handling Date Rape with such incredible insight and sensitivity.)

I turned off the telly, having had more than enough of that welsh twat from T4, with every intention of beginning my reading. Then suddenly I became inexplicably taken with the idea of spring cleaning the kitchen, which I did with much attention and not a little gusto (I even cleaned under the microwave plate). I had a break for lunch before starting on the bathroom and finished up by dusting down and having a little hoover around the living room.

Then I had a bath.

Then I did my laundry.

Then I had a snooze.

Then I cooked dinner.

Then I did my recycling.

Then I watched Bleak House (pretty good) followed by the end of Lost (frankly rediculous).

Then I cleaned my bedroom and took the rubbish out.

Then I watched Top Gear (mildly amusing).

Then I had another snooze.

Then I had a glass of wine.

Then I painted my nails listening to Maria Callas.

Now I'm going to bed.

My intellect may not be vastly improved, but at least my house is immaculate! And my nails look quite nice too!