A fly by

So, I've been surfing the net to pass the time while waiting for my washing cycle to finish (woah life is so glam). Can't believe that people are still checking and I'm so incredibly flattered. So here I am on a fly by and I thought I'd update you all on the next chapter of the story.

Life is funny isn't it? The twists and turns, the ups and downs, the roundabouts. Life outside the ratrace can be tough - very tough. I survived a couple of years of it, scraping by and just about paying my mortgage. My quality of life wasn't what I wanted and stress levels were soaring. And so I had to reach a compromise with myself and now I work for a housing association as the executive assistant to the CEO. A PA? Who would have thunk it?

But hey, guess what? I enjoy it. The people are great, the work is good, social housing is a worthy cause for me. And also, guess what? I'm nine to five. Who'd have thunk that? But what the hell is so wrong with that? Why did I have such a problem? The peace of mind I get from knowing I can pay my way is just huge. The commute is easy peasy and the people are really really great.

And again guess what?

I'm writing a book...

I've done the outline - 10,000 words and I'm about to start on my first draft proper. I'm lacking confidence but if I say it out loud on this blog, well it means that I absolutely HAVE to do it, no?

Back soon

Unbeaten

The TV counted down the New Year and everyone was poised, bubbly in one hand, party popper in the other, ready to celebrate. I stood behind the bar in a pub with people I hardly knew.

Ten... Nine... Eight...

I looked on, caught in my private world while others around me beckoned the New Year in with joyous voices. As every second passed my heart felt somehow lighter. No. That's the wrong word. Can a heart feel heavy and light at the same time? Is there a word to describe that?

I looked back over an incredibly painful year for my family and me, where the fine line between life and death was brought under scrutiny more than once and where the very fabric of our family changed forever. A year of freefall for all of us.

Seven... Six... Five...

I thought of my mum and my dad, of my sister and brothers, the complex and various rifts now formed between us, the broken trust, the devastation that mental illness can reek. Six individuals, now, rather than one family.

Four… Three…

Someone, another bar staff possibly, put their arm around me and pulled me to them. I pulled away gently. I wanted to welcome 2007 on my own and to make sure that 2006 was truly behind us. How can one year change things so greatly?

Two… One!

I closed my eyes. We had survived. Some of us only just, but we had survived. Time to rebuild, now. Time to put things back together. Not the way they were; that's not possible. But we can still find a new way, a healthier way perhaps.

I opened my eyes, picked up my glass and joined the party.

No place like home

So, it has been a while hasn't it? I've been on a sort of unofficial blog holiday, working on my flat (again), dealing with family crises (again), and writing massive essays (again). But here I am, sat at my decrepit laptop, wearing decorating clothes and steadfastly refusing to sand the walls down in my bedroom.

So what's new?

Nothing and everything.

But this is just a little post to say hello. I'll write more when I'm no longer covered in PVA glue, sleeping on my sofa and living off dodgy take aways.

Where have I been?

Yes. I know. I've been MIA for a while. But there's been a good reason and I think you'll like it. You see, I've been helping the guys at Head London with their latest world cup venture, The England Allstars. I'm going to be writing for them throughout the world cup and you can read what I have to say here.

So please come over and take a look. It's where all the action is going to be. There are animated highlights, brilliant ringtones that my mate Mary did, and you can even get the latest from Benny and Bjorn, Sven's balls. You may even get to see some of the animations on ITV 4!

I'm excited. I hope you are too!

Up up and away

I looked at the rock face and followed the ropes all the way to the top. 25m high.

"How hard can this really be?" I thought in an attempt to surpress my fear of heights with mindless positivity.

I harnessed up, made sure the others had my ropes properly belayed, and found my first footing.

"It's like climbing a ladder" shouted Boyo, the welsh instructor. "Easy, you see" [Insert welsh accent here].

Up I went, one foothold after another.

"Good job I bit my nails", I thought as the rocks ripped my fingers to shit.

Up I went some more, focussing entirely on the rock face in front of me.

"This is actually fun", I thought with some considerable surprise.

"You're doing really well, Laura. A natural!" [Insert welsh accent here, too]

Up, up and up I went, skimming up those rocks like a... well, like a rock skimming thing.

"Now you just need to touch the crab and you can come back down" [And here]

I touched the crab (I think, not really sure what a crab is you see) and then prepared to descend.

But I made a mistake. I looked down.

Never, EVER look down.

Procrastination

Extract of a phone conversation with my sister

Sis: "So. What are you up to today?"

Laura: "Well, so far I've cleaned two thirds of my flat."

Sis: "I see. So you've got an essay to write then?"


Busted!

All Quiet on the Blogging Front

Oh, dear reader. How do I miss thee. Let me count the ways.

One of the biggest oversights I made when signing up to this three-year Masters was exactly quite how much actual work was involved. I visualised myself at the end, graduating as a qualified counsellor. However, I didn't quite visualise the countless words I would have to write in order to get there. Denial? Quite probably.

I'm missing my friends, my life, the money I used to make from full-time employment. My hobbies are taking a back seat. No more football because Sundays are set aside for reading and coursework (allegedly). Less blogging, because when you have to write a 5500 word essay, you just can't afford to use valuable words up on a blog.

The pressure is on now, with three weeks to go before I have to hand in a big project that I haven't quite got round to starting yet. Things may be quiet around here for a while.

But I'll be back. I always am.